Proper preparation is the single best thing you can do to make your divorce mediation efficient, affordable, and successful. Use this checklist to get ready for mediation in New York City.
Financial Documents to Gather
Your mediator will need a complete picture of your finances. Before your first session, gather the following: the last three years of federal and state tax returns, the last three months of pay stubs for both spouses, bank statements for all checking, savings, and money market accounts, investment account statements (brokerage, mutual funds, cryptocurrency), retirement account statements (401k, IRA, pension), credit card statements showing current balances, mortgage statements and property tax records, vehicle titles and loan statements, and any business financial statements or K-1s.
New York is a equitable distribution state, which means the court will divide property equitably based on multiple factors. Having organized financial records helps your mediator guide a fair division.
Personal Documents
Also bring or have available: your marriage certificate, any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, existing court orders (restraining orders, temporary support orders), insurance policies (health, life, auto, homeowners), estate planning documents (wills, trusts), and children's school and medical records if custody is at issue.
Questions to Ask Your Mediator
Come prepared with questions: What is your training and background? How many divorce mediations have you conducted? What is your fee structure? How many sessions do you expect our case will need? Do you draft the settlement agreement, and is that included in your fee? Do you offer virtual sessions?
Emotional Preparation
Mediation works best when both spouses can engage constructively. Consider working with a therapist or divorce coach alongside your mediator — especially if the divorce is emotionally charged. Many New York City mediators can recommend professionals who specialize in divorce support.
Set realistic expectations. Mediation involves compromise — you won't get everything you want, but the goal is an agreement that both spouses can live with. Focus on your priorities and be willing to be flexible on less important issues.
Understand Your Legal Rights
Before mediation begins, consult briefly with a family law attorney to understand your rights under New York law. This isn't the same as hiring a litigation attorney — it's an informational consultation so you enter mediation as an informed participant. Understanding the legal framework helps you evaluate proposals during mediation.
Next Steps
Ready to start? Browse our New York City mediator directory to find an evaluated, top-rated mediator. For details on New York divorce law, check our New York guide.